In recent weeks I have taken a Vitamin D supplement each day.
I have not been diagnosed with a Vitamin D deficiency, but I am over 50 years old and I often experience a heightened level of stress and anxiety during the days with less hours of sunlight in them.
The post-Christmas period is noticeably difficult for me, and despite the strategies I employ to make my life easier by keeping warm, sleeping more, running regularly and taking a few days holiday from work in late January, I still feel somewhat overburdened, lethargic and depressed.
I have not noticed a marked improvement in my mood since I started to take the Vitamin D supplement, but I feel a sense of having at least tried to do something to assist my mood for the sake of those around me.
I am a very active, outgoing, humorous and focused individual who to a large extent, suppresses how I feel whilst I am at work or with friends.
I struggle to maintain the same discipline when I am at home, and I think that despite how I have been feeling, I have managed my moods at home a lot better than in previous years.
Increasingly I am trying to see myself from the perspective of my wife and other family members whom I love, and I want to do better, I want to feel safe, I want them to feel safe in my company.
Last year, at this time I took a few days off work and I made it very clear that these days were going to be an opportunity for me to rest. My attitude and demeanor attracted resistance and discourse.
This year, I took a few days off work and I made it quite clear that I wanted to get through as many home-related tasks as possible over the weekend so that I could spend some of my time relaxing the following week.
I then spent a day with my elderly parents.
The following day, I asked my wife to join me for lunch and go for a walk with me.
On the last day of my short break I discussed with my wife the prospect of me not been at home when she returned from work at lunchtime as I intended to go for a longer walk alone. Not a problem to her at all – all harmonious and calm
When she had gone to work, I missed her.
I contacted her by text, and I said I would like to go for lunch and walk again with her in the afternoon as we had done yesterday, and to facilitate this I ironed and prepared the evening meal.
Perhaps here is the evidence I am looking for of the impact of the Vitamin D in my life.
My next blog will be : My place in the queue
William Defoe