I have become aware again recently, that I am currently in a mode of problem solving and I want to get out of this reality as quickly as possible.
I have this tendency to listen to the concerns of others, particularly those of my wife and my adult children, and sense within me an almost immediate need to sort out their troubles.
I have noticed that I go into this mode of operating when I am stressed myself.
It is as if I need those who are close to me, to be alert and resilient to my needs and therefore any issues that they are experiencing themselves will distract them from the more complex needs that are my own.
In short, it is a crazy notion which causes me to feel further alienated when I most need to feel close to those whom I love.
In talking through these issues with my coach, I picked up on a new way to respond to the needs of others, by feeling into their world emotionally, rather than trying to solve the problem.
This act of listening, being silent, being present so that the issues are spoken and heard but not consigned to a quick response to get them out of the way, seems like the way to go forward for me just now.
I sense within me that this new approach to problem solving in the lives of others, will create a space for me to speak, so that despite the stress, despite the anxiety, despite the mood swings, I can sense the real presence of the understanding and care of others in my life.
So, the new approach to problem solving is to listen, to connect emotionally and to quit giving advice.
My next blog will be: Vitamin D
William, I would so love to read a post in the future which gives us some insight into what possibilities open up for you in doing this and what remains tricky or difficult. Such interesting territory. Thank you as ever for sharing your journey with us – Janeena
Janeena – this is the very first comment which makes a request for a deeper insight into my work – I will try to oblige in a future post – thank you for supporting me in my writing – William Defoe