My Place in the Queue

The person in front of me in the line has a right to his / her service before me.

The person behind me in the queue will have to wait until my needs have been served.

I have noticed that in most instances, perhaps with the exception of an emergency, or the social ignorance of another, my place in the queue is determined by the time of my arrival and not by any other quality which I or other people in the line possess.

It feels a bit like absolute equality, but in reality it isn’t equal because I still may have to wait longer in the line than others have done before me.

Last week at the end of a conference, the organizers had arranged lunch for the delegates in which two queues formed which gravitated towards two sides of one long table.

I had time to muse on my place in the queue, and as I stood there I realised how random our opportunities in this world seem to be.

For example, the queuing arrangements were not explained, they just emerged as I came out of the hall, and the queue I joined was longer than the one I would have joined had I come out of the doors from the hall.

The rules of queuing and my place in the queue seemed skewed by the fact that I would wait longer than those delegates joining the smaller queue at the other side of the table.

I was struck by how been in a queue allowed me to experience being content with how things are in the moment.

Being first, or being last didn’t matter, and if it had mattered I would have had to take an action to change my place in the queue (by joining the other smaller queue or pushing in further up  the line “because I had a train to catch  – I am sorry”etc).

In the situation I was in, even if I had heard that the food was in short supply, I would not have moved forward from my place.

I would have been more likely to withdraw altogether, but this attitude signifies in me a deep seated inferiority and deference to others, so that my needs should be subjugated to others, or perhaps my attitude signifies a deep seated kindness and compassion – probably both.

My place in the queue is a random clash with the universe, my attitude and my drive and my ambition to be the best I can, to be able to live my life in the moment, to be conscious of my value system isn’t random, it is inherent and the basis of my truth.

My next blog will be: Lost Signal

William Defoe

 

 

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