I take prescribed medication everyday to manage a kidney complaint which I have had for over thirty years.

The little tablet I take each day, controls my blood pressure and keeps my kidneys safe from further damage.

Many of you, I am sure, will be able to relate to this repeating practice of taking medication everyday to manage a medical condition.

I have been able, in recent years, to apply the same logic of repeating practices to keep me emotionally safe after many years of intense suffering as a result of living in isolation and fear  because of my inability to accept fundamental truths in respect of my identity.

My inability to reconcile the conflicted elements of my truth, created within me, a space for anxiety, stress, frustration, anger and paranoia which spilled out into so many elements of my life and with such a destructive force that there were times when I was unable to cope.

I live my life today, in the present moment, by repeating practices some of which are absolutely routine, whilst others I call upon for help in given situations.

The routine repeating practices which are most important to me are a work-life balance, established wake and sleep patterns, physical exercise; blogging; journaling; sitting in silence; mental discipline and community.

The less routine repeating practices involve me being able, in the moment, to stop for just enough time to stop a knee jerk reaction at times of provocation and increasingly being prepared to listen rather than speak in given situations.

I enjoy the wonderful support of a coach whose voice and eyes are in my head as I navigate the everyday happenings of my life which have been at the very heart of my liberation from my emotional suffering.

These repeating practices have brought from within me, a mental and physical and creative capacity which I would have thought previously I was incapable of.

These repeating practices have given me the capacity to be happy, inherently happy even at times for uncertainty and difficulty, because no problem or concern, no matter how big,  has the effect on me that would make it seem all-encompassing.

Repeating practices has provided me with the ability to put life’s challenges and difficulties into a context of a broader perspective which recognises that

I have a right to live,

I have a right to be happy,

I have a right to love and be loved,

I have a right to be, just be

……………and it feels wonderful!.

My next blog will be: Unfinished Spaces

William Defoe