My hunger for self knowledge and understanding is ever deepening.

My coach describes this momentum to self hood, as being a great act of curiosity which is revealed through an awakening of self to being still; noticing; thinking;  and reflecting whilst finding within, a deep compassion for what is, here and now.

As I applied sun cream to my body whilst on holiday last month in Portugal, I had time to take notice of my body, in what seemed to be slow motion as I applied the oil to my skin.

After a few days, I had developed an almost methodical routine to the application of the oil to what I noticed was my body consisting of “two halves”

Starting at my feet, left and right, and moving left and right, slowly and methodically to my two ankles, my shins and calves and my  knees and thighs, aware of the testes and buttocks (which were not in need of sunscreen!), up through the front and back of my body, to my chest and torso and shoulders, to my arms and hands and on to my neck and throat, and my face of two halves.

I was intensely drawn to this concept of “two halves”, fascinated, almost play-like with the duplicity of the body as I looked at it with an inquiring intensity – almost questioning its meaning in my life.

As I reclined on the sunbed, in the glorious Portuguese sunshine, I joined my hands together above my head and joined the soles of my feet together to make my two halves into one continuous circle – or you could say to make me whole, to make me joined up, to make me all-encompassing.

If left and right can co-exist in my body, then so can right and wrong, love and hate, tears and laughter, noise and silence, anger and peace, secular and spiritual,  straight and gay- you get the picture!.

Joining it all together, bringing the two halves of everything together is my journey to make me whole in the present.

In recognising and appreciating the two halves of everything, and developing my understanding to join them together so that I can co-exist with my conflicting thoughts and emotions and values, I become whole.

My next blog will be: Land Train

William Defoe