After visiting a zoo, my daughter recalled with laughter, how a little boy had said to his mother, out loud, when asked to make a wish at a wishing well “I wish I could go home”, his sister had wished for a fairy dress.

My daughter had been very amused by the frankness of the honest wish.

In a recent visit to see my coach, I too spoke out with frankness that there are times when being married feels intolerable to me and that I have a deep seated need for a male companion.

At face value, these may seem to be an honest wish, but I think that assessment of my words is too simplistic.

What I think is valid, is the importance of the opportunity which I and the little boy were given in different settings to speak out our feelings in the moment.

It is quite possible that the boy had become bored at the zoo, only to be taken off into the tiger enclosure moments later to be mesmerized by these magnificent creatures – who knows?.

In my case, speaking out deep longings in the hearing of someone else helped me later to shape what in fact my honest wishes are.

I want to remain married and honour my vows because I love my wife, but I need more and more to have my homosexuality acknowledged.

There is a significant part of me that would benefit from speaking to someone who lives the same experience as me as a married gay man – I think that is the honesty of my wish.

My next blog will be: Steam

William Defoe