As I was clearing out my attic earlier this week and making some very decisive decisions to throw out vast amounts of items that I had felt certain had a future when I first put them up there, I came across a small box of “treasures” that belonged to me.

In this box there was an assorted collection of badges, special coins on the occasion of Pope John Paul II visit to Britain in 1982, and of the Queen Mothers 80th Birthday, a compass that I was awarded for being best patrol leader in scouts, a hovercraft I had made of Lego as a boy on about 10 years and a pen given to me by my brother on the occasion of his graduation in 1983 to name but a few.

In and amongst all this was a handwritten “gong” with the words “1995 Bore of the Year” attached to a red piece of woolen thread with a piece of sellotape which my wife had presented me with 20 years ago.

I put it around my neck and went downstairs to see what reaction my wife might have. Of course, she laughed, but on reflection neither of us could think of why she had given me the accolade all those years ago.

I think I had a tendency to repeat myself over and over again about issues that at any one time have caused me to be concerned or anxious.

I have reflected on the times during my life, when I struggled to cope with everyday concerns about being able to provide financially, emotionally, materially and spiritually for my family, through my work whilst at that time becoming increasingly aware of the dilemma I faced over my sexuality and my marriage.

On my current journey to be more reflective and self aware and grounded in the present, I think that I am less likely to be so intense, as I must have been at that time in my life, so I am not expecting any time soon to be awarded another “Bore of the Year Award”

My next blog will be: An Exquisite Voice

William Defoe