As I try to live in the present each day on my continuing journey of self acceptance and inner calm, I quite frequently look out for signs of improvement in the manner in which I deal with the challenges I am faced with each day.
I have noticed that I am calmer, I am less likely to react negatively on the spur of the moment to provocation, I am less angry and if anything a little more reserved and reflective.
I have noticed that I laugh more and the sensation seems to be more readily accessible and if something makes me laugh or if I make someone laugh I quite like to re-play in my mind the humour later in the day or in the car to lighten my mood or unwind from the days events.
When I first engaged through Integral Coaching with learning to love myself and accept my gay sexuality, one of the areas which caused me the greatest pain and anguish were when people would occasionally insinuate that I was gay – all done in a friendly way – on the surfaced I laughed – inside I was crushed at that moment but also later the anguish and pain would haunt me for days.
Last week a young girl in the office was bantering with me about my female boss who is very beautiful and then without warning she said “but you would prefer Mark I bet” – general hilarity!
And the improvement? …… It’s huge! …….. “Water off a Duck’s Back!”
My next blog will be: The Sound of Silence