I have been observing lately about the difficulty that “Choice” in our lives can bring.

As children many of our choices are made for us and then as we grow and mature the choices that we make have a profound influence on how we make progress or cope with setbacks throughout our lives

I think that now, in middle age, it would be nice to live a life with settle choices – most people will have made career choices and relationship choices and made the odd change here and there along the way.

Why is it then that the availability of choice in my life is causing me pain and anxiety at this time of my life – is it explained by a mid-life crisis – well I’ve had one of those before, so why now?

It is the choice of staying true to my values and  looking forward to new relationships with established family and ,who knows, future grandchildren and the alternative choice which is to succumb to my sexuality and reach out for an alternative way of living.

Maybe there is no choice at all – maybe live can be all encompassing!

My next blog will be: Midnight Mass

William Defoe