The start to 2018 has been better that it was at the start of last year, which had been embroiled in a futile and damaging row with my adult child.

I have been able to repair the damage, and I have allowed myself to move on from the anguish and disappointment which the exchange of angry words  between us caused.

I sometimes experience my life as being intolerable, but as this new year starts, I feel calm within.

I know that I need a male companion. I need for someone to see me fully for who I am, because all the self-interrogation into my inner soul has lead to a cry outwardly for recognition and compassion.

I need to find ways to connect outwardly more fully with what I am within, and this is a great challenge because despite my growing sense of self-hood, I fear what may happen to those whom I love and those who will be hurt in some way by my truth.

I am fortunate enough to be supported on my journey by a trusted few, and it is through their belief and their love that I draw the strength I need to face each day.

As 2018 starts, I sense momentum, I sense progress, I sense hope that sometime soon I will finally be me.

My next blog will be: tbc

William Defoe