One warm evening whilst on holiday in Spain this summer, I offered to buy my wife a Spanish Lace Fan so that she could waft her face delicately as she walked along.

She declined the offer, but she laughed when I said I would buy one for myself.

I am sure that men do use these devices, but I associate them with women, where I have seen them been particularly put to firm use in churches during Mass.

I told my wife that I was going to buy one for myself, and I intimated an action with my imaginary fan, which was very effeminate in its movement.

We laughed.

It was a happy moment.

It is a moment I have stored to bring balance to the tough times.

I asked her, “What would you do if I was to buy a Spanish fan and walk down the promenade wafting it effeminately about my face?”

She said, “I would walk behind you and pretend to be not associated with you”

“But you wouldn’t leave me” I asked?

“No, I wouldn’t leave you” she said, “because I would not feel safe without you”

So, I tested the limits and I discovered that, for all my faults and failings, my wife is prepared to walk behind me in the most ridiculous of situations, but as I much prefer her at my side, I had to do without a Spanish Fan.

My next blog will be “A Covering of Autumn Leaves”

William Defoe