I have visited the same salon for a haircut, every four weeks, for the last 40 years.

For most of those years a man called Jim has cut my hair.

He shares the same Catholic heritage as me, attended the same schools, although he is older than me by approximately 4 years.

Our usual conversations range from, family to football , to the city we love, to holidays, to marriage “strife”, to politics, to jokes and our conversations invariably involve an element of laughter and silliness.

Last week for my regular haircut, our conversation turned to the topic of male impotence.

I ended up telling him that I was feeling really concerned that my ability to function sexually felt as though it was in decline and it scares the hell out of me.

He says to me, same here, time there was when I had to hide myself behind my school satchel but those days are gone.

I said some of my friends, of a similar age to me (mid-fifties) have lost interest in sex, but I have not and the fear I hold, is that my physical capacity will decline further whilst my mental capacity is left behind and seriously frustrated.

He says, well there is always Viagra – some of my friends use Viagra, but to be honest I think you are worrying about losing something which you have not lost.

He said, you are experiencing a slow down in line with your age, but it should not necessarily mean that you are finished with sex.

If you are concerned, he said, see a doctor.

As I emerged from the salon, I was appreciative of my connection with Jim.

His haircut man-talk in the midst of his general humour and his skill as a hairdresser was a much appreciated exchange, which provided me, in the moment, with the re-assurance that I was in need of.

Slow down doesn’t mean stop.

Stop doesn’t mean end.

It’s good to talk!

My next blog will be: Winter Coat

William Defoe