There is a momentous turning point in the life of “Forrest Gump” ** when having run the length of America and back, following the death of his wife, he suddenly stops running.
This moment in the film, has always held a fascination for me, because the life I lead is often punctuated with an unbearable sense of anxiety, which manifests itself in a variety of ways in my mind; in my body; in my words and actions; and in my silence and tears.
Last week, a heightened period of anxiety and intense emotional pain came to an abrupt end in the middle of the night.
I can’t recall experiencing a moment like it before in my life, but I knew that this heightened period of stress and destructive mood swings had come to an end – it was my very own turning point.
Often in the past, when I have been in midst of a dark period in my life, I have looked for the intervention of some outside stimulation to bring me out of it; perhaps a kind word, or an empathetic ear; perhaps a long run or an inspirational read; perhaps a social occasion which has unlocked my mood.
This turning point was different because I woke up at 3.00 am in the morning and all the negativity in my thinking seemed to have dissipated; all the assurance in my mind of the future course of my life was turned instantly to the opposite; all my feelings of needing to be alone, melted into a need for community and love.
And so, instead of waiting to be held; instead of waiting for events to take their course; instead of reveling in my low mood; I reached out my hand and my arms and soothed with my body and words and tears, so that those close to me could recognise that I had returned to them.
I think I have learned for the future, that turning points can have their origins from somewhere deep, deep, deep within, and that it might be a place for me to consider looking when next the time comes.
My next blog will be: A Helping Hand
** Forrest Gump is a 1994 American comedy-drama film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom. The film was directed by Robert Zemeckis and stars Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Mykelti Williamson, and Sally Field.