Earlier this month, the small Mediterranean island state of Malta became the first European state to criminalize the use of therapeutic methods which purport to change a persons sexual orientation or gender identity.

A few years ago, when I first found myself in a situation where I could express my sexuality after years of suppression, anxiety and fear, I briefly considered entering into a process of reparative therapy so that I would be able to fulfill my role as a married man and father with the possibility of having these intense feelings for my own sex lifted from me.

I described these feelings as being like a heavy burden, and in religious sentiment as like carrying “my cross.”

I quickly realised that the idea of expunging from me, an innate element of what made me who I am, was not the answer, rather, it was that I lacked an acceptance of it.

The integral coaching sessions which I commenced at that time, enabled me to open up within me the possibility of facing my truth head on, and finding joy within me for being able to know and love who I am.

This concept of facing in, rather than facing away, was a revelation to me, a revolution of thought which has liberated me from fear because the reality of my truth no longer frightens me.

It has not meant that I have entered a gay lifestyle, nor does it mean that I ever will or for that matter that I never will.

It means that I am gay and I am married and what is more, so long as my wife and I want to keep it that way, that is how it will stay.

My next blog will be: Craving for Change

William Defoe

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