Waking Thoughts

In recent weeks I have felt quite anxious.

This feeling of anxiety has been a regular feature in my life and I am overcoming gradually its destructive power, by becoming better acquainted with its cry for help  – a call from within which requires a response – and also its effects on my mind and body.

Often when I am anxious, I wake up early.

I am restless in my sleeping, and also in my waking.

My waking thoughts are often a surreal experience of eroticism, fear, exhilaration and confusion with a tendency to be trapped in a situation which repeats itself over and over from which I struggle to emerge.

As I finally wake up, whether anxious of not, I am amazed at the experience of how somehow my brain re-boots and reminds me of who I am, where I am, what day it is, what time it is, what my plans are for today, what I am worried about, what I am looking forward to.

My waking thoughts are often the very clearest of the day. I am surprised at how often at the start of the day, a sudden answer appears to a dilemma or a course of action is determined upon, which seems to have come from nowhere.

The deep sub-conscious is processing these things as I sleep, and where feelings of anxiety remain, or issues are unresolved, I know through my Integral Coaching development that I must try to find space in my waking life to be silent – to think, to ponder, to pay attention to my inner voice – to listen to my soul which is the essence of my being.

My next blog will be: The Summons (Verse 4)

William Defoe

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