Borderline Hysteria

It is three years since I opened up my truth to those whom I love.

I had lived with a sense of fear and isolation for very many years of my marriage up and until that November day three years ago and I am proud of the fact that, in finding the strength to lose control and take the consequences, I have been able to find peace.

I have not had a big sense this year of re-living the events of those few days in November 2012 and I think that speaks to me of the significant shift I have made in my life to be calm.

When I think of the few years leading up to the moment I admitted my truth to my wife, I sense that I had lived a life of borderline hysteria.

I was often at a pitch of anxiety and unable to cope with the normal things which everyday life throws at all of us.

I recall feeling unwell and unable to cope with issues relating to my children’s struggles at school or routine repairs in the home or with the car which seemed to push me to breaking point on top of pressures at work.

So, I have shifted from borderline hysteria, to being present, to being accessible, to honouring the many aspects of my truth which are not defined exclusively by my sexuality, whilst being better able to respond to the problems of everyday life in a more balanced and measured and thoughtful way.

My next blog will be: Clumsy Blogging

William Defoe

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