Earlier this year I attended a wedding which took place in the grounds of a hotel on the most beautiful sunny day imaginable for such a happy occasion.
During the ceremony, the best man, all of a sudden jumped up from his seat, looked aghast and without comment went running as fast as he could in the direction of the hotel.
The reason for his sudden departure became apparent shortly afterwards when the ceremony was halted at the exchange of rings – the rings had been forgotten.
It was quite nice to have a pause and enjoy the scene which was beautiful until he returned to a brief and polite round of applause and laughter and the ceremony continued and concluded.
What had been a small hitch in the ceremony, and what had the potential to be a happy anecdote in the future recollection of the wedding ceremony, took a different turn for me when the best man referred to his feelings of the situation during his speech in which he wanted to make it clear that the Groom was to blame for the rings debacle.
I think this is an example of when the need to move on from our past quickly, can be understood in the context of a moment, rather than thinking of the past as having taken place years ago.
The forgotten rings had been a temporary blip in a flawless morning, but the reference and blaming comments intruded in a bigger way in the present of the speeches and it was at that moment that the issue had the potential to spoil the day.
I am learning all of the time of the importance of moving on quickly and investing as much as I can to the present moment and not allowing the past, however painful, to rob me of the present moment.
Sadly, I am not always successful, but I am always aware when my aspiration to be calm in the present, is being clouded by the past – even when the past can be an incident that has occurred in my life earlier on the same day.
My next blog will be: Fat Rhythm
Such a good reminder. I have found myself caught in thoughts of the past lately – focussed on aspects of how I’ve chosen to parent. At times I find myself longing to go back and do things differently: to not spend so much time on the phone, to read more bedtime stories, to cook more of our family meals…. it’s not that I didn’t do those things, but somehow they were less then central at times. And now I have to be with what is and what was. Living in and from those regrets had me feeling totally bereft and hopeless for a few days. But as you say, returning to the present has made such a difference. Being ‘with’ but not ‘under’ my regrets has enabled me to take action in the present in ways I haven’t been able to before. Thank you for reminding me once again. I’m off to make a cuppa for my hubby!
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So kind of you to connect with my post with such a thorough and enhancing response which enables me to connect with you on the narratives of being present, regret and moving on. Lucky hubby! – William Defoe