“Third Things”

I am steadily preparing for a visit to see my coach next week.

I am in a process of continual dialogue with my inner self which has slowly evolved within me as I have  come to know and love myself after years of anguish caused by denial of my truth about my sexuality and my inability to overcome the conflict of my same sex attraction with my desire to remain married to my lovely wife and remain faithful to my Catholic faith.

I have been re-reading a book, kindly provided to me by my coach,  called “A Hidden Wholeness” by a wonderful author Parker. J Palmer which I have referred to previously, in one of my earlier posts called “Circle of Trust”

I have been studying again his teaching on facilitating dialogue in circles of trust by what he refers to as  “third things”

A “third thing” is a device by which a topic is explored metaphorically via a poem, a story, a piece of music, or a work of art which facilitates participants in a “circle of trust” to access their own inner truths through interpretation, without the need to be openly explicit unless they choose to be so.

His example of a “third thing” is a poem called “The Woodcarver”-  a Taorist Tale  from the teachings of Chuang Tzu and this wonderful poem which I recommend to you and Parker. J Palmer’s explanation of it, have deepened again my capacity to explore and illuminate the deep crevices of my inner struggle.

I have learned for myself from this “third thing” that in order for me to deal with my perceptions of external constraints (which have loomed large in my life, particularly so in recent weeks), I must not compromise my inner freedom which is a crucial element of my journey of self-acceptance.

In other words, I think I am saying that I can’t be happy in my marriage or in my faith if I have not first accommodated within me, my sense of self and the absolute truth of my same sex feelings.

My next blog will be:   “Can’t camp out; salad for tea”

William Defoe

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