Funeral Plans

I took my elderly parents out for the day last Monday.

I value so much the time that I have with them alone.

On the journey home my mother who has been very poorly talked to me about her funeral plans.

I have been worried about her for quite a few months as her heart condition has got noticeably worse.

I noticed that I was able to listen to what she had to say without making attempts to stop her or change the subject or even to re-assure her.

I asked her “Do you think of your funeral often? 

“Yes” came her reply “All the time”

I asked her “Have you written all these things down?”

“No” came her reply “I will do at some point”

We laugh at her contradiction – on the one hand she reckons she is at death’s door and on the other there is no rush to write it down.

My Dad, slightly deaf, sat in the back shouts forward, I might die first!

This provokes a litany of her worries if that should happen as he cares for her most lovingly and I re-assure her that whatever happens we will all rally round to support them.

When I got home, I felt restless and uptight.

I felt better once I had written down all that I could remember about her funeral plans and discussed our conversation with my sister.

So my inner awareness has taught me to notice, to listen, to write it down, to share my concerns and to be prepared for her funeral whenever it comes.

I do hope that I will have a few more days out with them before that day comes because being with them was a joy to me and memories of them will be a source of calm in times of sorrow.

My next blog will be: Laughing Stock

William Defoe

2 thoughts on “Funeral Plans

  1. Janeena

    William, Today is my mum’s 80th birthday. She survived cancer last year and is remarkably well and yet I know that in the natural way of things, the time that we have to say our mortal goodbye is not so very far away. So your beautiful post has made my cry in the best possible way: tears of appreciation for her, for you, for our shared human capacity to love and talk and laugh. Our whole family arrived at her door this morning with flowers, cards and rousing round of ‘Happy Birthday’ and later we’ll enjoy a meal together… simple, easy things which we love…. and which speak of our love. Thank you for your moving post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. williamdefoe274 Post author

      It is so wonderful that your mother has overcome her illness and has reached this wonderful milestone in her life and yours – and that we in our middle years have had the time to appreciate and grow in admiration for our parents resilience and love with every year. – enjoy your celebrations and once again many thanks for taking the time to feedback to me with generosity and support for my post – William Defoe

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