Diary Clash

I have arranged to sing in a concert on Saturday 6th June and I am busy rehearsing for the event.

Last week a very close friend of mine invited me to his 50th Birthday Party – Saturday 6th June.

I now feel torn in two – I have a dilemma and it feels awkward.

If I cancel my commitment to the concert, which I could in fact do, I would be letting down the organiser and my tenor voice would in fact be missed – not for its brilliance (although I do sound rather nice when I get the notes in the right order!), but because there are not many tenors in the choir.

If I don’t go to the party of my friend, I feel I will be letting him down and , I will miss out, and my wife will feel that she has to miss out not wanting to go there without me (her choice, not mine).

This dilemma reminds me of a time, not so long ago, when two opposing views in my head  tussled for primacy and acceptance for my way of being in the world, and seemed to be irreconcilable within me.

I have learned that in being open to myself about the truth of my life and bearing witness to it, I have been able to resolve within me my conflicting truths of my gay sexuality, my love for my wife and our wish to stay married and my deeply held Catholic faith.

I realise that I don’t have to make a choice between the various aspects of my wholeness and truth – as my coach guides me with the words that “life is all encompassing” and the solution to internal conflict is a broadening of the space in which you live in the world.

If I can apply this broad approach to all that conflicting stuff, surely I can resolve a Diary Clash!

I pick up the phone to my 49 year old friend and let him know that due to a prior arrangement we will be arriving late to his bash – is that okay?

Of course, he says, you go sing at your concert, but don’t inflict that stuff on us when you get here!!!

My next blog will be:    Parallel Tracks

William Defoe

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