For the past few weeks, I have experienced a fairly strong good mood in the face of all kinds of work pressures, home pressures and I think that this is because I emerged after Christmas from a fairly sustained low period into a better place after confronting within me the issues which had brought me down.
On Sunday afternoon, I felt within me a Mood Swing, and rather than be a passive “victim” of the change, I was determined to notice its effects on me.
Physically, I felt tired, emotional, anxious and I withdrew into myself and was noticeably quieter in my dealings with others.
My wife noticed it and asked me what was the matter and although I had already worked out what had caused this sudden change of mood, I was not ready to explain it to her, so I thanked her for her concern and said I just felt a bit fed up.
As I honed into the declining mood, I reflected that:-
- I was actually tired,
- I am worried about some forthcoming issues at work,
- I can’t face working until I retire (an old favourite),
- my niece would not kiss me goodbye (she’s 5),
- I want some work doing the house which I can’t afford yet,
- my eldest adult child seems aloof, and
- I was late back from a run and I was fearful of this causing an argument with my wife.
The following day, (yesterday), I noticed that the effect of the downward mood had taken hold and the reasons were not the issue – but at least I had caught on to what they were yesterday – a phase in the process that I have never really caught onto before – I decided to take some medication to ease the feeling of agitation.
I got through the day at work feeling a bit lack-lustre and when I got home I asked my wife to hold me close as I came in from work and after she asked me what was the matter, I said that I was scared and she held me close and told me not to be scared.
So, I understand that my mood can change but that it does not need to have huge consequence for others, I can self-manage with a little help to get me through it until I start to emerge from it until the next time.
My next blog will be: De-cluttering