If I was to point to the biggest change within me since I explained my truth to my family about my gay sexuality it would be the absence of fear in my life.
For many years every insinuation made to me on a frequent basis questioning my sexuality caused me indescribable pain and anxiety.
Then there was the fear of being outed or somehow caught out by a stray remark or inappropriate eye contact.
It has been over two years since I explained my truth to those that matter and are close to me, but it is only recently that I have noticed that the fear has gone.
I think that this is because it is hard to let go of rehearsed emotions to given events, but as I have learned to thrive on the comments which previously caused me pain and confusion, my life without fear is only emerging into my truth gradually.
When I first met my coach and we discussed my deep anxiety over my sexuality for the first time, I told her that I had prayed so hard for what I described as “my cross” to be lifted from me.
However, I was with her now to face my truth but what I had not fully appreciated was that in finding acceptance for my truth I was embracing “my life without fear”
Although, my wife does still scare me at times…….!
My next blog will be: My Circle of Trust