Nesting

Last week as I drove to work I was very affected by the sight of a bird flying over the dual carriageway on which I was driving, carrying a fairly large twig in its beak.

I have not been able to get the image out of my mind, not only because it was such a beautiful image but also because of a host of information that act of nesting conveys in terms of the start of Spring, the busyness of the natural world in creating and bringing forth new life and how that plays out in my own life at a very deep level.

I observe that throughout my own life, I have striven to build a home – in my case handing money over to the bank each month to pay the mortgage, but also within the means that have been available to me, through the joint effort with my wife, and the generosity of others, I am surrounded by my own metaphorical nest of twigs.

But…… unlike that beautiful nesting bird which builds for a greater purpose for a short term but important purpose, I have found myself at times feeling overburdened by metaphorical twigs so that in fretting about the twigs, I have struggled to nurture the family within my nest even though I have given my all.

I fear that the last paragraph has echoes of a judgement on my ability to be the best husband, father and provider that I could be, however, I am so very conscious of judgments nowadays that if I make them, I call them observations of the past that are helpful in informing me of the past in this present moment.

So…. I admire the bird for its resilience and determination in the face of adversity and risk in carrying that big twig across the dual carriageway to its nest.

And……in applauding that fantastic feat of nature, I reflect on my own heroic feat in carrying my own heavy load in the face of adversity and at impossible odds, coming through to this present moment to a place of ever growing self acceptance of as I am, here and now.

It would be nice to think that you could do the same.

My next blog will be: Forgiving Myself

William Defoe

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