After a period of several months I have re-started with a determined effort my family networking.

I had previously asked my brothers and sisters to make some space for me in their lives, at the same time I told them about the suffering I had endured for most of my adult life, as a result of my isolation and fear.

I had assumed that because I had not been able to find acceptance for the dilemma I had experienced, I would be rejected by them all and the wonderful truth is that I have not been.

The feeling at first was quite euphoric, but then over time, I started to play this silly game in which the networking only counted, if they contacted me first. I was foolish.

They took my lack of contact to mean that I was doing well and the family network was no longer a priority for me.

I began to feel marginalised and isolated again within my own understanding of my place within my family and I felt hurt and angry until matters came to a head when in explaining my feelings to my brother, I got angry with him for his neglect of me and he got angry back with me  for my foolishness.

So, if like me, you feel isolated within your family, don’t play games, keep the network alive by picking up the phone and becoming an active participant rather than the passive victim!

My next blog will be: Holding Hands

William Defoe