I have been accessing the Easter services on-line this year.
The technology is amazing and the effort which priests have placed into their preparation for a voice-less response to their words has been fascinating to see.
I have felt at times, as if I have been going through the motions of it – sitting through the services so that I can say to myself that I have done so, but lacking inwardly the feelings of faith and experience which I would normally expect to feel at his time of Christ’s passion, death and resurrection.
My wife told me that the local bishop had asked the on-line faithful, to stand, kneel and sit at the appropriate times, to join in the responses – I just said to her that I would not do that.
Last night, as I watched the Easter Vigil with my arm around my wife, who sat with me, I felt stirred inside to join in the sung responses, and I connected with something deep in my own history when I heard my voice fluently, and quite beautifully (if i may say so) singing the Latin responses.
I felt connected back to my childhood as a young choir boy when boys rehearsed mid-week and attended in significant numbers the Sunday services.
I am a legacy to that time, my voice has maintained its rich quality, albeit as a tenor, rather than a soprano I hasten to add.
The feeling of connection was a passing moment, but it was enough to stir something deep inside me of the importance I place in all this religion stuff, which surprises me when I think about how overwhelmed I am by the inner turmoil and conflict which I suffer daily.
My faith is not a comfort to me, forgive me if this offends you, but it is integral to me, it cannot be separated or abandoned, and I think I understand now that regardless of my future path, this aspect of me will continue to prevail.
Easter blessings to you all, regardless of faith or none, we all belong to one human family in our diverse and different forms.