Occasionally I have the pleasure of receiving written feedback to one of my posts.
I few months ago, one of my readers in the USA ,wrote to me to say that he had found my words profound, because he also was struggling to balance his married commitments with his unfulfilled gay sexuality.
This connection with others, who are undertaking a similar journey is a rewarding aspect to the power of my written word.
In recent weeks, I have been exploring with my coach, ideas of deepening my connection to the gay community, whilst at the same time honouring my commitment to my wife, whom I love dearly.
My capacity to hold and honour both of these seemingly conflicting aspects in my life is a growing and evolving process, under the control of the deep and conscious thinking which I apply to this dilemma.
My ultimate control has to be that I do not fall into a situation where I become a transgressor.
I have always honoured my vows, and yet still the strength of my feelings for my own sex, now experienced in acceptance and welcoming, holds for me risk of responding when I need to exercise restraint.
To honour, ultimately means that I have to be honest, and for me this means that I act to end my marriage in openness and truth with integrity and due care before I fall into becoming a transgressor.
My next blog will be: I Cried
William Defoe