I’ve read my first book of the New Year!

“The Tiger and the Acrobat” by Susanna Tamaro.

It has thrilled me with nuggets of philosophy throughout its beautiful chapters, as tiger tries to find her identity and independence.

I was struck by moments when tiger sensed a feeling of disappointment for perceiving that she had let her parents down in some way, by not following the same course of life as they had lived, and which they had expected her to live.

Far worse, I think, to have done the opposite, as I did, and followed a culture and a tradition appropriate for my parents which was not suited to the world I experienced within and without.

So much has changed, even in my lifetime in the way that open, western societies have recognised a persons need to be an individual.

Eventually, in this beautiful book, the tiger listens to her heart and she searches within for the gemstone which defines her truth.

In truth, the book needs a second read, which I am resolved to do this very soon, and no doubt subsequent reads in the future, when the shape of the words and the language will no doubt speak to my own heart in the moment in which it finds itself.

I have lived my life faithful to the aspirations of my parents, and the anguish that my choices have caused in my own life, and those whom I love, some of whom who do not know that I am gay, has been an ordeal from which I am only just beginning to emerge.

This reality of self, and my awakening to my truth, has enabled me to accept the choices which my adult children have made, for their own happiness which in some cases are different to the choices I have hoped they would make.

This has had a liberating effect on my soul, and on my relationships with them, and I know that no matter how things turn out, I want to be with them in their happiness and in their sorrows, because if I do not welcome and embrace everything, I make my experience smaller, pitiful and calculated* 

My next blog will be: Being Called a Traditionalist

William Defoe

*based on words of Susanna Tamaro