Traffic control systems occasionally cause me to feel a little frustrated.
It’s as if the traffic lights sense that my car is approaching and deliberately change to RED to stop me from progressing further to my destination.
As I was waiting at a set of traffic lights on my way to work earlier this week, I thought about this concept of control in the traffic light system, and how it had something to teach me about managing my own propensity to push through in situations where it would have been better to wait and think.
On Sunday, I made a resolution during Mass to tell a choir member that I was fed up with his condescending tone to me which has been irritating me in recent weeks and then I planned to go and resign from the choir.
Lovely Christian thoughts surfacing in my over-wrought mind during Mass.
But something else was at work too.
It was an inner voice of control, demanding my attention to refrain from such a course of action.
I know this second voice – it is my new-found inner control traffic system and it is my friend.
Deep down, I knew that I wanted to create a scene, to let off steam, put people in their place and alleviate the tension building up inside of me.
At the end of Mass, I went to light a few candles (a normal activity – part of my routine) and I told myself to walk as the light in my head turned GREEN.
Tonight, as I write this post, I am grateful for the control I exerted over my desire to rush through my inner traffic lights.
I am grateful that the control within me turned my inner momentum to make a situation worse, momentarily RED.
The time to think averted an embarrassing episode which by now I know I would be regretting.
The issue itself is not resolved, perhaps some words will have to be said, but perhaps they will be delivered calmly, friendlier or with humour which averts a fall out and a scene.
My next blog will be: Love or Need