In recent years all the good times seem to have been spoiled by at least one episode of anger expressed by me in a moment of weakness, which then clouded the whole evening or day or even the holiday.
It has been my intention for many months now to try to hold in the anger, manage the discomfort, resist the urge to react.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that at some point in the future, I would come to a time in my life when there was no anger to suppress, no discomfort to manage and no need to resist an urge to react.
It happened last week in Spain.
Last week, it was like it must feel when all the preparations for a special day come together without a hitch.
This turn of events in my life, is a reward for my deep commitment and effort to change supported by those who love me.
It wasn’t a fluke, it was a real experience, because I was able to hold back the distractions and worries in my life and allow myself to relax.
My wife was real close to me, planting smackers on my lips as we walked along the promenade in beautiful Fuengirola – we were like teenagers, even though we are in our fifties.
I am increasingly drawn to a whole plethora of ways to live which draw upon the inherent strengths of my own character which for so many years has been swamped with a feeling that I could not cope.
It all seemed to come together last week in Spain, and I was able to come home feeling calm and relaxed and in a way ready for the realities of my life, which are not always easy, but better able to cope, better able to be present.
My next blog will be: Crutches