I am quite often on the lookout to notice the comments that others make about me.

My attitude to this approach has shifted very positively into a direction which is constructive in my life, as opposed to being crushed by remarks others make about me.

In the past, before I started on my journey of self discovery and self love, I felt every opinion as a threat and a wound developed within me which grew and grew.

Now I have developed an attitude of curiosity and I have protected myself with a simple inner response to the opinions of others which is “that is their opinion, not mine”

I say to myself when I pick up on an opinion expressed about me, either directly of inferred: –

Do I recognise myself in that view of me;

Am I inclined to own that opinion;

Am I inclined to agree with that opinion;

Do I need to acknowledge that opinion whether it is true or not;

Do I need to make a change as a result of that opinion and if so, is that for my benefit or the benefit of others.

A recurrent theme that has emerged from others in comments about me is that I am a perfectionist.

It sounds positive – it might be, but it might not be.

I have lived a life in which the bar has been raised high, which if its attainment was down to what I could deliver, it might be acceptable, but when it is predicated on the choices that others make, which in my case it was, the striving for perfection made my life hell.

So, I have let go and I have let things be, and I have welcomed the change in me and the response in others and life feels a whole lot more perfect that it ever did!

My next blog will be: Pink and Black

William Defoe