I have what I would describe as an innate politeness – I cannot seem to help Being Polite.

In recent times, I have made this necessity on my part to be polite a key focus of my development of self.

Being Polite has become for me a source of concern – and here is why?

There is an aspect of Being Polite, which lacks truth or put another way suppresses my truth.

Being Polite is sometimes akin to saying one thing whilst at the same time thinking another thing, and I am on to it in certain interactions which I enter into.

This new focus for me of noticing when I am saying one thing and thinking another is challenging work.

It requires me to be present in my interactions, and conscious in the moment of the contradiction, so that I can note it down and at a later point begin to dissect the substance of the issue, which I am hiding from myself or the other party.

Why am I not bringing my truth? – there are occasions when I happen to think that I am being strong, for example when I am consciously suppressing my real desire to speak a truth which will cause unnecessary hurt, or inflame a tense situation.

I am conscious that there are times when it is a strength to defer the truth until a more appropriate setting can be arranged for it to be said, heard and discussed.

So, the focus of my development is to notice when I am unconsciously speaking something or conveying a demeanor which is not a truth and asking myself …  why?

These answers will be a focus of a future post, but for now I wanted to share with you this concept of how Being Polite as a potential source of damage to self-esteem and conflict in relationships at home, at work and in our parishes and communities which we all would do well to understand.

My next blog will be: Being Recognised

William Defoe