I sometimes think that people reading my posts will think that my journey is a straight one without any twists or turns or setbacks or doubts.

The truth of my journey is that the road is smoother but it has hidden blips and they still have great capacity to cause me, and occasionally those close to me, some pain.

Recently, I have experienced a feeling of “Flip-Flop” which at its heart is the struggle I am experiencing to reconcile within me, the hopes I have for my children as a loving father, and their own aspirations and dreams which are their own.

I celebrate my new found capacity to stay silent, when in the past I would have engaged myself fully in yet another destructive struggle, and yet my heart feels torn and interprets the flip side of new strength as a flop side of weakness..

I think deep down, I want them to love me and I want them to know that I love them and for that reason I will take the flip-flop experience that I occasionally endure as a sign that the changes I am making are for the long term.

My next blog will be: Mountain Hare

William Defoe

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