In November 2012, after 25 years of marriage I told my wife that I had been aware for many years that I had an attraction to my own sex – that I was gay.

I did not want to lose her, but I had come to the point in my life where the private feelings that I agonised over could not be hidden from her or contained in isolation within myself any longer.I fully expected that in revealing this to her my marriage would end – so far, it has not!

This blog is about my journey to that momentous day in November 2012 and how in the months that have followed I have learned with my wife’s love and support and with the guidance of a truly amazing coach I have come to accept within me something that I had for years felt was incompatible with who I was meant to be.

I have undergone a huge process of examining my past, my feelings about the future and most enlightening of all learning how to live not just for today, but in the moment.

I want to share the wonderful integrated coaching practices that have accompanied me on my journey, my  highs and lows and my emerging understanding that I will always have to live in moments of light and shadow and that all these feelings have something to contribute to my journey through life and are valid.

I am on a journey – I have not reached the end of it.

It is my hope that in sharing my story I may be able to support any person who rejects within themselves an aspect of their being  – an aspect of what contributes to their wholeness – and which causes conflict within themselves and impacts on all those around them, particularly those people who love us and yet do not know the source of our hidden pain.

I hope that my story will inspire others to free themselves from a mindset which restricts their ability to be calm, to be happy, to be accepting of themselves and to be surprised by the generosity of others.

My next blog will be – Living in conflict with myself

William Defoe