After a family meal last Friday night, to celebrate my wife’s birthday at our favourite Indian Restaurant, I felt unwell as I went to bed at the end of the lovely evening.

A short-time afterwards, after sleeping lightly, I rushed from my bedroom and into the bathroom, where I was violently sick.

The vomiting continued again a couple of hours later and whilst it was unpleasant, I knew in the moment that all was well.

It was clear to me that I had eaten something during the evening which my body had later rejected.

The surreal experience of having the contents of my stomach reverse up the esophagus into my mouth, and out again into the open, made me think about how my body was able to decide something was not right, and take a decisive step to remedy it, almost in the moment.

How different, it seems to me, is my mind, which instead of ejecting a stray or painful thought, it rather does the opposite, it takes it deeper and deeper into my brain and torments me with feelings of guilt, loathing, anger and regret.

How good would it be, for me to use the unpleasant, but essential experience of vomiting, and apply this lesson of the body to my mind.

The following morning, I was up early and out for my run feeling vibrant and alive and interestingly having no negative thoughts towards the restaurant which we love so much.

Perhaps my mind, has already begun the process of allowing itself to be free from blaming and sulking and pondering over “woe is me”

My next blog will be: Christmas Address Book

William Defoe


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