Have you ever noticed how difficult it can be to see your own reflection in a steamed up mirror?

I think that the effect condensation has on my reflection in a mirror, is a good metaphor for living a life where self does not acknowledge truth.

The outline is barely recognisable and the purpose obscured whilst the condensation blocks the view of my face.

If you stand for a while, the mist over the reflection will lift, but I have never had the patience to wait, so a towel or my elbow or hand would wipe away the dampness to reveal a less than perfect view of my visage, peeping through the dispersed droplets of water on the mirror.

My journey to self started with that same obscured view of self. I had lost sight of who I was, and I was too afraid to find out or acknowledge to myself, and those I love, what in fact I looked like (on the inside).

In a state of fear and anguish, I settled for a life of obscurity for many years and my frustration boiled over into anger, resentment with myself, and those whom I love, and I also experienced isolation, as I rejected their offers to help me.

I have noticed that if you open a window in the presence of condensation, the mist will lift cleanly and more speedily.

If you have the window open whilst a bath is being run,  or during a shower, the mist won’t appear in the mirror at all.

My eventual decision to confide the truth about my feelings for my own sex, to my wife was like opening a window – at last my image and truth was revealed in the mirror of my life.

My next decision I took was to invest in my own development, through Integral Coaching, and this is like having a shower with the window open, because in focusing on living in the present I am unlikely to lose sight of self.

[This piece is my 200 post – these posts are a key part of my journey to know self and express self and knowing that I have some readers out there all over the world, liberates me from my isolation and fear and connects me to you all – thank you].

My next blog will be: Duty

William Defoe

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