The Raging Storm

I am beginning to build up within me a sense of calm. It is a new sensation for me.

I have lived my life since my confused adolescence in a raging storm of emotions which has wreaked havoc on all of my close relationships.

There have been moments of peace over the last 35 years, but, I have likened that to what would have happened in a storm if I had walked around a corner and experienced a brief respite from it, but my awareness of the storm never dimmed.

Two years ago, I confronted head on the truth of my gay sexuality which has raged within me as confusion, guilt, fear, self-loathing, inner conflict, resentment, anger and fear – my raging storm.

I have cultivated a place of calm through engaging fully in a process I now know as “Integral Coaching” which has provided me with a shelter from the storm – as if I have entered a “safe-house” whilst I come to terms with my truth and adapt to the freedom that I can now bring myself wholly and undivided in all my wonderful complexity to the world.

I am beginning to notice as I emerge from the “safe-house” that the storm has lessened. It still has the capacity to push and pull me, but it’s force is spent because the storm of fear is gradually being mellowed into a calm of self-acceptance.

If you feel divided and unhappy, follow me into a “safe-house” and discover your truth and then bring it wholly to the world.

My next blog will be: Freedom and slavery

William Defoe

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