I came across a surprisingly beautiful film recently Called “Still life” (see below)
I often feel, that in order to feel safe, my desired option would be to live alone.
I enter the realms of fantasy in my mind, where I seek a life alone, but then somehow I am “rescued” by my wife (whom I have left at this stage in my fantasy!) or my daughter or my brother or my mother etc etc etc.
This film helped me to give some further consideration to the reality of living alone, particularly if the intention is to be isolated.
This council worker was dedicated in his role of trying to find relatives and friends of deceased persons who have died alone.
In many cases, he was unable to do so, or people would not come to funerals whom he did trace, and so the council worker himself would be the sole attendee having written a eulogy based on bits of information he had found in his investigation :-
“Sue liked Christmas – she spent it with her cat – and they exchanged gifts – cats were an important part of Sue’s life”
I have grown to really value periods of solitude. In fact, these times have become an important part of my intention to know and understand who I am, and not to feel frightened about the scale of my truth but to befriend it.
This film helped me to recognise that periods of solitude, is different to permanent solitude – this may indeed still be an attractive way of life for me or for others, but at least now I can face my choices with a smidgen of reality about its merits, rather than the fantasy which has hitherto clouded my thinking on the issue.
My next blog will be: Why Me?
Still Life is a 2013 drama film written and directed by Uberto Pasolini. The film was presented at the 70th Venice Film Festival , where it won the award for Best Director in the category “Orizzonti”. It also received the Black Pearl award (the highest award) at the Abu Dhabi Film Festival for “its humanity, empathy, and grace in treating grief, solitude, and death”; and for his performance, Eddie Marsan won the Best British Actor award at the 2014 Edinburgh International Film Festival.