In the days leading up to the conversation with my wife in which I revealed my secret same sex attraction torment to her, I contacted on-line a professional coach with whom I had intense professional development seven years earlier.

The purpose of the contact with this coach was to seek her help in relation to difficulties I was experiencing at work, particularly with regard to a strong individual in the team. I felt that she would understand the background to my lack of confidence which stemmed primarily from being managed out of a job I loved at the time of our previous professional contact.

We spoke on the phone and agreed to meet in January 2013 at her home 200 miles away. This conversation took place on the day I traveled to see my brother to reveal my same sex attraction to him and the day before I told my wife of my same sex attraction problem.

By the time I came to fill in the pre-meet questionnaire which my coach had asked me to complete, I was in a different place and I was able to be explicit in my responses to her, about the full nature of my inner conflict and the terrible impact my torment was having on my family, my confidence at work and my mental health.

My future posts will focus on the content of my pre-meet questionnaire and the journey of self-discovery and self acceptance that my coach has guided me through with her amazing skill, generosity, kindness and care of me.

Two years later, I continue to have regular meetings and conversations with her – I adore her – she has become a beacon of light in my life – she has transformed the way I be in the world and she has opened up within me  a conversation which has increased my capacity to experience the highs and lows of my life in relative peace.

My next blog will be – Preparing for Coaching

William Defoe